Reclaim Your Authenticity: Stop Chasing Someone Else’s Dream and Start Living Authentically

The Struggle with Authenticity

Authenticity—it's a word that's thrown around a lot, but what does it actually mean to you? For many of us, the idea of being "authentic" feels elusive. You've been wearing a mask for so long—playing roles that others wanted you to play—that you're not even sure what being truly authentic looks like anymore. Somewhere along the way, parts of who you are have been labeled as "too much," "inappropriate," or "irrelevant." You've learned to suppress these parts of yourself just to fit in. But today, we're going to challenge that and start the journey to reclaiming who you really are.

Why We Lose Our Authentic Selves

Most of us start off in life aligned with who we are. But along the way, societal pressures begin to creep in—expectations from family, friends, school, and even our own internal voices telling us to "be good," to "fit in." For many, these voices become stronger than our own desires, leading us to live by someone else's rules.

The truth is, you may not have had a choice as a child. Back then, we all relied on adults to show us the way, and often that way was based on what they thought was best for us. But as adults, we have the ability to reflect on and challenge those beliefs. It's time to decide whether these expectations are really worth more than our own desires. Are we ready to shake off what's not right for us?

Chasing Someone Else's Dream

What does "chasing someone else's dream" look like in practice? It often doesn’t feel like giving up on ourselves, but rather feels like doing what’s "right" or "responsible." Maybe you've been pursuing a career path because that's what was expected, or you're staying in a relationship because it's what you "should" do. The trouble is, this kind of life isn’t aligned with who you are—it’s aligned with what others think you should be.

Look at what we’re witnessing in the world today. LGBTQ+ individuals are stepping forward and reclaiming their right to love who they choose, not who they were told they should love. Women are challenging outdated ideas about needing to have children or "settle down." Humans are beginning to rewrite what’s "natural" or "expected" and live according to their own desires. And here’s the powerful takeaway: If your life choices do not harm yourself or others, then why not live according to what feels truly right for you?

The Hidden Dangers of External Validation

When you spend your life trying to meet someone else's expectations, you begin to lose touch with your own. Living out of alignment with your true self isn’t just a vague philosophical idea—it has real, tangible consequences. You experience unhappiness, depression, anxiety, and stress. Your entire body responds to the disconnect by sending signals—through stress hormones, physical fatigue, and a lack of motivation—that something is wrong.

Imagine living in a constant state of "should." The weight of all those "shoulds" is exhausting. It drains you, leaves you depleted, and slowly chips away at your confidence. This is the hidden cost of chasing external validation—you are living a life that isn’t yours, and your mind and body know it.

The Vicious Cycle of Burnout

When you chase someone else's dream, it's almost inevitable that you'll end up in a cycle of burnout. It starts with "I have to do this" and shifts to "I have to do this for them." You develop a sense of duty or responsibility toward others, but ultimately, you begin to feel emptiness creeping in, whispering: "My life has no meaning." That lack of fulfillment leads to mediocre efforts, and mediocre results further fuel the feeling that you're failing. It's a vicious cycle that reinforces the false belief that you’re not good enough.

How to Start Reclaiming Your Authenticity

Breaking free from these patterns doesn’t mean uprooting your entire life overnight. It starts with one small, simple step that reconnects you to who you truly are.

Make One Authentic Change

Start small.

What’s one small thing you can do today to bring more authenticity to your life? For example, if you prefer eating breakfast alone under natural daylight, do that—even if it means not joining others at the table. One small action that honors what feels right for you can set off a ripple effect.

This is not about taking drastic action but about making a tiny, deliberate change that is uniquely yours. When you start by honoring a small part of yourself, you begin to build momentum toward reclaiming larger parts of your authentic self.

Mindset Shifts for Authentic Living

You Are Not Broken

You are not fundamentally broken. You were given the talents and strengths you need to succeed, including the ability to grow and learn. If you’ve been struggling, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you—it’s because you’ve been suppressing what makes you uniquely powerful. Imagine a fish trying to climb a tree. It’s not going to work, but it doesn’t mean the fish is broken—it means it’s not in the right environment to succeed.

Stop Chasing Validation

What’s so important about validation from people who don’t even accept your true self? If you’re not showing up authentically, people aren’t really seeing you—they’re seeing the mask you’ve put on. And maybe, just maybe, if you allowed yourself to show up as you really are, you’d find that people are more accepting than you think.

Conclusion: Time for Action

Reclaiming your authenticity starts today, not someday. It doesn’t require grand gestures but rather one small, consistent action that aligns with your true self. Choose one thing today that feels authentically yours and commit to it. Life becomes infinitely richer when you stop chasing someone else’s dream and start living in a way that honors who you truly are.

Today, ask yourself: What’s one small way I can bring more of my true self into my life? Take that step, and watch as the pieces begin to fall into place.